An unusual turn of events

Was standing in the middle of That Cd shop listening to Olivia Ong’s CDs when I received an SMS that I never thought would ever happen.

Life seems so fragile, unexpected and regrettable. Many what if-s arises in my mind. So much so that I did not want to even try the empathy game.

How can I ever understand the regret and the pain?

We need to treasure the people around us. And like my very own email signature says: be kind to everyone for you never know what he might be going through. It takes a lot of pain and determination to choose that road.

I pray that Lord at the split second, save him. I trust in your mercy and grace.

Nothing can be quite as bad as this, we should all see that time once gone can never return.

Jewel – life seems to have arrived at a pause today.

Year end update and review

Today’s date: 2nd November 2009, Monday.

A year has passed, it seemed like yesterday that I just returned to Citi. A quick check on status on Saturday led me to witness God’s mercy and grace so much more. How is it possible that a year could drastically change our lives and lead us out of situations.

God has revealed himself month by month to me that His grace is sufficient for me, and He will provide all of my needs.

Thus, this month is to be kept in check. In preparation for the end of 2009, and looking forward to the start of 2010.

To move on in faith that our God is watching over all my needs.

Like Pastor Kong Hee’s sermon, that He will plant not only good dreams but God given dreams.

Amen.

Fear.

Fear is when you no longer trust that God will take care of you. Recently I have a fear of losing my loved ones. Fear of them suffering, fear of lots of things. And with it comes skepticism, judgement and despair.

Lord, help me to realign my heart and my thoughts. Amen,

Citibank’s Praxis Financial Challenge

I am really into these financial planning stuff recently. We formed a team to join this year’s challenge! Joined for the fun of it! And never expected we could win! So some pointers I got out of this game was:

1. The insurance factor. The first round that I became broke was because I did not purchase adequate insurance and I had to pay for an extra 2 months of hospital bills. I needed to take a loan already! But good thing I could sell some stocks I purchased at the start of the game. Thus always keep some spare cash for emergency reasons.

2. Always accumulate savings and not to over invest oneself.

3. Avoid the hype. Aloysius earned $54,000 from a big jump in the stock market and he wante to earn more so he dumped all his money into the stock market again only to know that it crashed. Gosh, I too was tempted. But stored some reserves that I made from selling my properties.

4. The unexpected. Be prepared, you never know what is coming up.

It was fun!

Jewel

An active note to oneself

I once read in a blog by someone. A testimony he saw of a changed life, was due to a decision he made one day. It was a changed life from a major decision that ones makes, and the daily decisions that he continues to make along the way that transforms life.

Like my decision to decrease expenses. It was a decision made, but I needed to remind myself and decide again every day. Till it becomes a part of me.

I went to Ikea yesterday. Saw cups that we needed: $0.90 each! Happily we wanted to buy 4 of them. Went over and since we needed to buy cups, why not buy nicer ones that were slightly more expensive. Deliberated and finally caught myself. No, its a decision not to spend unnecessarily. Thus, we cut down some more. Instead of buying 4 cups, we bought 2. $1.80 we would have spent $$50 if i had not controlled myself by making that decision once more.

Why? Cos I saw a trash can i was looking for mocha’s food pack ever since i saw that tip in Martha Stewart’s website! And it would have cost me $39.90.

Alas, that saved me some money.

So eventually, its a life long journey. To make decisions everyday.

I just made one earlier. I wanted some interesting dinner. And thought I could order delifrance!! And excitedly went to the menu to take a look. But it was a $25 minimum meal.

Looking and making a decision. Took a step back and asked darling instead to buy different items for dinner from the hawker centre! And if i took a quick count, should not add up to $15! Thats a $10 savings.

Another decision made!

Jewel

Decreasing expenses.

My sister made a comment today when I brought home my new Adidas sports top and Reebok shorts today.  That I am always randomly going off shopping and buying things. Really? I thought to myself.

She said yes, and my mum dropped off a comment while cutting off the tags and said; so expensive ah $29.90 for a shorts? Hmmm. To top it off, my sister retorted off to my mum, like why the surprise when I usually buy things that are expensive.

Alright, so I told myself not to get defensive and think if that is true. As I have the SPEND budgetting app in my iPhone now. And I am regularly updating it. So, it might be true.

Others tend to notice you more than you notice yourselves.

So resolution last quarter of 2009: Decreasing unnecessary expenditure.

Time to sleep and tomorrow the new resolution begins.

Time to cut the clutter.

Jewel.

Fatigue

Extreme fatigue. The silence is drowning my thoughts out, the droning engine kills my voice. I just want to be quiet now, not to utter not to make a statement and not to declare. Life is unexpectable, what seems to be a happy day can turn the other way.

Not only do I need to please customers, people. Even Jerome. Whom then can u b yourself with. In silence you do not offend. In silence you rest your case, in silence you perhaps am at peace with everyone else.

Feels like a souless Jewel today, aching within and smiling away, the day is long and dreary. May God enlighten my thoughts.

Jewel

Pleasing men than God.

It’s really a chore today. My thoughts are all in a frenzy and I seem to have tons to do and I do not know where to start. I would probably think that I need to re-organise my life.

My oreo truffles

Sigh.. Was looking forward to baking the Oreo truffles I learnt from Bakerella.. Unfortunately it turned out terrible.. The chocolate did not coat nicely and could not seem to dry at all.. The base got stuck to the aluminium foil.. Perhaps it’s the chocolate I used??

A messed up mind this public holiday

Laziness is something that kills dreams and passion. I got lazy today. Supposedly I was to go to Grams and visit. Was too lazy and spent the entire afternoon lazing around. However my only consolation was that I got to spend some time with my dad and mom for dinner.

Though I was looking forward to this public holiday, I suppose I didnt know how to make full use of my time. Then again, during such times in my life, I sit and think what God would have me do? And I went online and started randomly surfing. Really want to be able to bake my own cupcakes. However, looking at my messy kitchen.. I deliberated.

I met my desires by surfing and collecting these pretty pictures I find of them baked by others. However, it only served to increase my insecurities. Secondly where am I on my singing classes? I could have spent time practicing. But yet, I did not. I blamed it on my messy home. Which could be easily solved by packing up. But then again, I was too lazy for that.

So what does one do on a public holiday like this?

Time to clear up this messy mind in preparation for a whole week of work. But then again.. After thursday I am on a long break again.. Celebrating my sister’s 21st birthday, perhaps I ought to bake her some cupcakes, but again, my laziness might just come back up again.

so many things to do… i need to keep this thought; we do not have much time left in this world. Lets just make full use of it. What happens if today, I do not have a care in this world, what would i be doing?

I once heard from Sean that there was this lady; who sang in a band, and did some other things at the same time which I cannot remember off hand. Perhaps that is what I am going to do, I am going to be singing, travelling, working, meddling in the cafe, baking and making disciples of christ..

Need to go find my 12 now.

Ciao for now.. Oh and worse of all I too wanted to take up photography to make my photos nicer but again lazy me……. thinks my house is short of lighting.

And got inspired for A World Within again. Lets start doing something about it. May God bless these hands and put them to the plough.

To add on to my previous post: 43 things Jewel wants to do in life.

1. I want to someday attend Le Cordon Bleu pastry course in Paris
2. I want to someday own a beetle
3. I want to take up basic photography lessons (so that my pastry photos will look beautiful)
4. I want to sing someday to minister to many for God on stage
5. I want to learn the keyboard

6. I want to bake cupcakes

7. I would want to own a book cafe

8. I would love to make the first A World Within’s Christmas Snow Globe.

9. I would like to own a nice house.

And counting…